People seem to forget how quickly things change
How easy it is to go from strangers to friends to strangers again
We get so caught up in the result
That we forget the process
That we are too busy rushing towards death, to enjoy life
To slow down, to breathe it in, and exhale love.
I myself am a victim
And cannot excuse my behavior to the reasoning of life
Because if anything I am the problem for not choosing to live mine.
Perhaps I am as naïve as you state
Vulnerable to the hurt you may inflect
However let me consider it my problem, not yours
That someday I may end up hurt or damaged
For I trusted to much
Or loved too hard
That the hopeless romantic is tossed aside again
Because I hold no value or merit
But if you chose to discard me and my heart
You will have regrets.
Though when I look back, I most certainly won’t.
It’s a choice.
While your head hits the pillow
I hope that I grace your dreams
Miss you in the way you never miss me
Where you’re dying for the moment we won’t be apart
Where the blankets that cover you, you wish were my arms
Where your radio were my heartbeat instead
That you weren’t alone in that big, empty bed
That that annoying alarm was instead my voice
Where love was easier, and no longer a determined choice.
I wish that distance were just a little bit easier
And my text messages were simply less cheesier
But if you’ve shown me anything at all
All you need is a glimmer, no matter how small.
It’s sometimes so hard being on my own
Because relationships only do so much
Self-reliance is necessary for survival
I don’t have the control others do
I rely too much, and require attention those around me can’t provide
I’m a problem, more a hassle than a real friend
And no one wants a hassle.
Perhaps it’s why I’m on my own more often than not
Because I’m not a good pretender. I can’t be fake.
But I’ve learned I also can’t be on my own.